Couples Therapy
Falling in love is wonderful…
… the excitement, the butterflies in your stomach, the sense of euphoria, and the feeling that you just can’t get enough of each other.
When you find someone who seems to know you on every level… who really gets you… who SEES you… it finally feels like home.
The best part is when you’re best friends… when you enjoy doing everything together, laughing at each other’s jokes, and you just can’t wait to see each other at the end of the day.
You fell in love, you took the leap and committed to each other, and, over time, your love deepened and grew.
And then… “life happened.”
Along came the kids, pets, high pressure job, endless kids’ activities.
Somewhere along the way, you both went into survival mode, taking care of the tasks before your relationship: The “we time” and date nights fell by the wayside.
When a relationship heads toward survival mode, everything becomes “I/me” instead of “us/we.” There may be inequality between you both concerning household roles or decision making, leaving one or both feeling resentful.
There is a lot of nitpicking going on between the two of you. The two of you bicker a great deal. You are withdrawing from one another or use the ‘eye roll’ a lot.
You don’t fight fair…. and all of this is starting to take its toll on the level of sexual intimacy in your relationship.
Eventually, it feels as though you’re no longer on the same team…
Fuses get short. And when things go wrong, you both point the finger. You lash out with blame and start in with the “You always…” or “you never…”
Hurtful things are said that can never be unheard, and one or both of you resort to the “silent treatment.” All the while, this kind of conflict is driving you further and further apart.
You no longer enjoy your time together. Your spouse prefers to spend free time away from you on a regular basis, and neither of you have anything nice to say to one another.
Exploring problems and feelings with one another rarely happens. There seems to be a feeling of indifference between you both, and it’s like you have started to detach emotionally.
Perhaps things have gone so far that you don’t trust one another and feel suspicious; or your partner keeps secrets; and now the level of sexual intimacy in your marriage is low – or there isn’t any at all.
You feel as though you are really on the fence – part of you wants to stay, part of you just wants to go; and these thoughts go around and around in your head constantly…
When you just don’t know what to do…
You lie awake in bed at night with a knot in your stomach.
Should I stay or should I leave? Is it even possible…?
Will the pain, struggle, and conflict never end? Can we work through issues together and find enduring love? Are we both willing to change and grow?
It seems impossible to know. The pain of things staying the same seems unendurable.
The constant anxiety, walking on eggshells… your sadness feels like a lump in your throat… a burning in your chest… and the fear is like butterflies in your stomach… all you want is to feel peace again…
You love each other, you know you do, and you have a life together; but you’re just so tired of the constant arguing… of feeling unloved, unsupported, and alone.
You don’t know how much more of this you can take.
Relationships are hard, but it doesn’t have to continue this way.
Couples therapy can help you…
Rebuild the friendship that you lost and enjoy spending time together as you once did.
Your friendship affects every part of your relationship, including intimacy. Through couples therapy, you will learn to see your partner as your best friend again, have fun together again, and, as a result, you will begin to see your relationship change and grow in healthy ways. I will guide you through a process of rediscovering each other, getting to know each other’s hopes and dreams, fears, and stresses.
Learn to show appreciation and admiration, gratitude for one another, to think fondly of each other while you are apart, and to learn to be receptive to each other’s “bids” for closeness and intimacy.
Connect emotionally, physically, and spiritually on a deep and fulfilling level.
Therapy can help you develop a system of shared meaning, create new “rituals of connection,” and build purpose through creating an amazing life together by intentionally creating shared goals, narratives, mission, symbols, cultures, and legacies.
Overcome past infidelity.
The betrayal and trauma of infidelity is possibly one of the most painful experiences a person can endure. Therapy can help you determine if trust can be rebuilt after your partner has been unfaithful. It may seem impossible, but you can heal from infidelity.
Using Gottman’s “Trust Revival Method,” I will help you and your partner learn the skills and techniques you need to foster and re-establish the trust, safety, and commitment that you need to once again engage in a deep, loving partnership.
Communicate honestly and openly and without resentment.
Learn to modify conflict by creating constructive ways of managing it that create intimacy and understanding in your relationship. Develop the skills and empathy to understand each other’s point of view and how to process fights, after the fact.
Ready to get back to being in love again?
Resuscitating a relationship takes hard work, commitment, and a therapist with a thorough understanding of how relationships work.
You CAN rekindle your relationship, build loving connection, trust each other fully, look forward to seeing each other, make each other laugh, feel grateful for one another, and plan for you future… together… once again.
Don’t settle for an unsatisfying marriage for another day… not another minute!
Call now for your free consultation: (805) 556-5532